If you were to look through our entire poisons database, you'd never make it to the bar. We wish osmosis would work and you'd get drunk just by looking at our 200-plus collection of Baltimore's best alcoholic concoctions. We also understand that the happy hours are ticking away, so we've put together a few thematic selections to make searching a lot easier so you can go out and get drunk a lot quicker. Your welcome. Just buy us a drink when you see us.
Is it entirely too decadent to want dessert and drunkenness all at once? Well, yes, it probably is. When your extravagant side screams for attention, shut it up with one of these chocolate concoctions. Just don't have too many.
In this pristine age, when a lock of hair in a salad is a surefire lawsuit, it's sometimes good to take chances. That's what these dive bar drinks are for. They're unique, they're dodgy: they might truly be considered poisons.
Daiquiris, coladas and margaritas are just the tip of the iceberg. Baltimore's bartenders have created these innovative frozen drinks, and though they'd probably be just as refreshing without the booze, what's the point? Stay cool. Stay buzzed.
After a long night of drinking like it's our job (which it is), we head right back to the bar and do it all over again. Whether it's a post-holiday cure-all or just a little something to keep the weekend going, take two of these, and call us when you're ready for happy hour. It's your M.O., and it's ours, too.
The Beatles probably didn't have tequila in mind when they penned "Lovely Rita," but we'll take margaritas over meter maids any day. Enjoy Baltimore's spin on the frosty favorite, salted rim and all. Just don't sing the Jimmy Buffett song, please. Please.
Whether you're a fan of the baseball team or Maryland's state bird, plenty of bars offer cocktails that let you show your love. For obvious reasons, many of them are orange-flavored. If you hate citrus, you might just wear an O's hat instead.
Football and alcohol have always made a great team. They do everything together. Too often, though, beer monopolizes many fans' game-watching celebrations. These purple poisons want your affection--perhaps at the expense of your wallet and your liver.
Science claims it's a really bad idea to mix stimulants and depressants. Science also tells us that Pluto isn't a planet. Why trust science, then? These cocktails marry booze and Bull, and you, friend, are invited to the wedding.
Ordering a bottled beer or a Jack and Coke is perfectly acceptable at your typical neighborhood bar, but if you're out at a lounge, choosing the right drink may make all the difference.
Long Island iced tea never tastes like tea, and Lynchburg lemonades aren't exactly what Southern-fried youngsters sip on porch swings. What else are these mixed drinks hiding? Metromix explores the nefarious underbelly of sweet and sour cocktails, where the only thing stronger than the booze is the suspense.
Baltimore isn't exactly a hot vacation spot, let alone a tropical getaway. Since not everyone can win a trip to Hawaii on "Wheel of Fortune," area bars are kind enough to offer us these consolation prizes. There's no sunshine, but they're still warming.
Need to wake up? Here's a collection of our alternatives to the Red Bull and vodka rage. The Starbucks craze has made it to the bar scene, giving new meaning to the words double espresso. Beware, these coffee-flavored poisons will do more than caffeinate--—they'll inebriate.
