America, you are a bunch of fools. Not because you kicked off Carly Smithson, because, let's face it, she was lucky to have made it this far. No, you are fools for the fact that you buy Brooke White's act. We cannot possibly be the only ones who notice that those pearly veneers aren’t the only thing fake about that gal.

Here endeth the rant.

This week the Idols were paid a visit from musical theater’s most successful living auteur, Andrew Lloyd Weber. (Those of you in the TV set may best remember him as Mr. Sheffield’s absentee nemesis on “The Nanny.”) He helped the top six take on a lot of songs we’ve heard a million times before and one or two that didn’t even ring the tiniest bell. It was all very fun, but this week was basically just another pit stop on the road to Neil Diamond. We’re so close!

The judges' table

Simon's harshest slam: Oddly enough, Simon's inconsiderate commentary only hurt the audience this week when he told Brooke White she was "brave" for stopping and restarting her poor rendition of "You Must Love Me." After two false starts in one season, the bravery of Brooke seems a lot more like arrogance to us.

Randy's most repetitive comment: Be still our collective hearts. Did one Mr. Randy Jackson actually break out a wildly descriptive metaphor this week?  Yes, we believe that was he referring to David Cook as a "molten hot lava bomb." There may be hope for him yet.

Least intelligible Paula-ism: Paula spoke in coherent, if labored, full sentences this week. Whatever she’s on this week, it’s working.

The good, the bad and the pitchy

The frontrunners: It’s getting a tad predictable to fawn over David and David every week, so how about we nominate Leona Lewis as this year’s “American Idol?”

The dark horses: “Idol Worship” has been in Syesha’s corner since day one, so this is not without a heavy dose of bias, but she blew everyone else out of the water on Tuesday. She’s survived the bottom three more times than Kristy Lee Cook every did, so there may still be hope for her yet.

Who's going next: That said, Syesha’s days are probably numbered. Jason Castro won’t be making it to the top two either, but here’s hoping he outlasts Brooke White.

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