Booze and Old Bay

The farewell post

Michael Cook — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 05:05:04 GMT

Well, fair Metromixers, just like Mobtown Molly before me, I have to leave you. Though I am not moving to the cruel desert, I am moving on. You can track my literary life here, but it won't be the same. No longer will you be able to turn to Booze and Old Bay to hear about a really wild shot or how to make yourself a VIP or where one can find Baltimore's best Italian delis.

Thanks for reading and commenting and for the ideas (and drinks) many of you have given me. I love you all, and so before I go, I want to leave you with Booze and Old Bay's final five tips for maximizing your Baltimore experience.

1) Eat steamed crabs at least once a year

2) Don't drink at Power Plant when you can drink in Fells Point.

3) If you live in the city, vote. We need to keep restaurants viable and support the many festivals we all enjoy, and we need to get some mass transit up in this place so I can stop paying taxis to get me across the pond.

4) Drink and eat and screw your faces off, but be cool. Don't drive drunk and don't destroy property or hearts.

5) Keep an eye out for the name Michael Cook. I shan't be blogging here but you'll see my byline elsewhere, and when you do you'll know you've stumbled upon the mark of quality, like the red wax on a bottle of Maker's Mark. At the very least, you'll know you've found an interesting article about how to get drunk or on something you haven't tried yet.

Craziness. Also new beers in town.

Michael Cook — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 04:16:27 GMT

It has been a wild few days away. I went to San Antonio for a wedding (not mine) and had two days that included, but was not limited to: extreme drinking, transvestites, narrowly avoiding jaywalking citations, a suicide attempt (not mine), hotel vandalism, and a charming outdoor ceremony in San Antonio's breezy 103 degree weather.

But I'm back and ready to go. The night is young and so is our wonderfully independant country. Happy 4th, ya'll! So while I get back on my feet and prepare my liver for reintroduction to Baltimore's boozing scene, here are some local beer notes to tide you over.

The very rare Duvel Green, a delicious belgian that's much lighter than the Duvel normally sold in the US (but still very flavorful), is available at just five spots in the Baltimore area: Metropolitan, Max's, Frisco Grille, the Judge's Bench, and Abbey Burger Bistro. I'm not sure there's a lot of it around, so get to one of those spots soon.

I also stopped by Pub Dog and tried Sam Sessa's brainchild, their new watermelon flavored beer. My reaction was "Wow. This is really interesting. I do not like it at all." I encourage anyone who likes trying new beers to stop in and try it. They did a nice job of getting that melon bouquet into a light, refreshing beer. I can't really say why I didn't like it. For some reason the combo didn't work for me, but don't let that stop you. I've been known to be wrong.

Like when I jaywalk or break things in my hotel room.

What your drink says about you

Michael Cook — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 04:31:51 GMT

I just caught a sneak preview of 500 days of Summer. Has there ever been a movie more about the twenty-something love life? No. Which is why it was both a bit painful and predictable, as well as very entertaining. Check it out if you want to see your life lived out on the silver screen by people slightly better looking and wittier than you.

Anyway, onto the topic du jour: do you ever wonder what a bartender thinks about you when you order? Here's a list of what a bartender (or a bartender like me) might think as you ask for your drink.

PBR: You're a cost-conscious hipster
Natty Bo: You're a cost-conscious Baltimore hipster
Miller Lite: You are between the ages of 21-31
Coors Light: You want to hydrate and probably do not like real beer
Bourbon on the rocks: You are tough and also probably psychologically damaged
Hennessey: You are probably African American
______ and pineapple: You are female and don't like the taste of alcohol
Grey Goose and tonic: You think you're slightly higher class than you are. Blind taste tests have shown that when mixed with tonic or fruit juice, the difference between Grey Goose and most other decent vodkas is imperceptible.
Vodka soda: You're watching your weight.
Jack and Coke: You have no imagination, but you like to get drunk.
Cosmopolitan: You are female and wearing a dress and/or are high maintenance.
Long Island Iced Tea: You are here to party
A chocolate martini: You don't have diabetes. Yet.
Blue Moon: You are a female who likes beer but at the same time you probably don't know enough to know that you'd also like other Belgian white beers or hefeweizens.
The brand name switch: If you order one brand name (say Heineken) and the bar doesn't have it, and you immediately order another brand name from a different category altogether (say Captain Morgan), you are judged as an idiot. Nobody would ever compare those two alcohols. If you thought with your brain, rather than your marketing-conditioned brain-stem, you'd agree.

Father's Day at the Dizz

Michael Cook — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 05:05:04 GMT

I had drinks with dad at The Dizz for Father's Day. The Dizz is one of those classic Baltimore spots. Like Nacho Mamas, Nicks, or Brewer's Art, you won't be in Baltimore long before someone starts reciting love poetry to one of these classics. And yet I'd never been to the Dizz. Shame on me.

Dad and I remedied that with a couple Sam's Summer Ales. We also solved a couple of the world's problems and my dad informed me he was once again handing out my personal information to someone so I could recommend Baltimore bars and restaurants to them. (I should mention to all the bar/restaurant owners reading this that I do take bribes.)

The Dizz's tap selection is pretty standard for a bar these days, with Yueng, Guinness, Stella and a few other good options. I can't say anything about the food, since we didn't eat. But what the Dizz does so well is what Baltimore in general does so well at its best bars. Friendly, relaxed service that matches a friendly, relaxed atmosphere. Just looking around the Dizz at the mix of young and old, you could tell that anyone would be comfortable here. Comfort is a weird thing to compliment in a bar. Shouldn't I, as a critic, be concerned about style or drinks or newness? Nah. Other cities care about style or newness in their bars, and that's fine. Baltimore ain't like that. Deal with it, hon.

Now, those who have been to the Dizz know that it's directly across the street from Charm City Cakes, where Ace of Cakes is filmed. The windows are blacked out at Charm City, and with a wait list for cakes at something like a year long, don't expect to walk in and buy a slice. But while at the Dizz I saw my buddy, a Dizz employee, come in the door with a cake and I asked him if he'd gotten it from across the street.

"Hell no," he replied. "I made this. I'm making the desserts. They're way better than Duff's cakes."

Now that's something I have to taste. I can tell you one thing already, though. Dessert at the Dizz will be a hell of a lot more affordable than dessert from Charm City.

Old Bay Secrets

Michael Cook — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 18:53:12 GMT

One of my dreams since starting this blog has been to take a tour of McCormick's Old Bay factory. The blog is called Booze and Old Bay, after all, and I've certainly covered enough booze.

But yesterday I found out that you can't tour McCormick. Actually, that's not quite true. If you happen to represent a million dollar account, you can probably get a tour. So, once I became mad famous for this blog, I'll probably spend my second million on a few hundred thousand pounds of spices so I can get a tour. You're welcome to join me.

Until then, we'll just have to settle for the vicarious knowledge my buddy, a McCormick's employee, dropped on me. Old Bay is a three shift operation, meaning they make it around the clock (as well they should). However, only one person at a time is really on the line. So there are three people, plus a single supervisor, in the entire world who have an actual operational knowledge of Old Bay. Though some of the company higher ups might be able to pull up the recipe if necessary, there are really only four people in the world who know.

And I am not one of them. Life is cruel.

My only consolation is that every venue in Baltimore has a decent show this Saturday. Old-school College Park has invaded with two alt-rock bands, NoCo at Recher and Hotspur at Sonar. This is pretty cool, since I knew them both back in the dorms when all we could afford was plastic-jug vodka. Still, I might dip out and go see Trixie Little at Ottobar. But then, Recher apparently has a new patio? Decisions, decisions....

Greek festival

Michael Cook — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 20:42:58 GMT

I liked The Iliad, I think Greek girls are cute, and being around lots of dark haired people speaking with their hands reminds me of my Italian family, so of course I had to try the St. Nicholas Greek Folk Festival.

Things were fairly tame when I got there. Most of the fun is in the dancing, which is heaviest from 4-6pm. However, having just experienced my first crossfit workout, I was starving. That pita didn't stand a chance.

Nor did the Moussaka, a really interesting layered mix of eggplant, ground beef, and potato topped with a creamy Bechamel sauce and grated cheese. Why have I never had this before? I spent a week in Greece and never saw this. It just goes to show you that tourists never get the good stuff. I also had some souvlaki, which was just OK, and some spanakopita. The spanakopita didn't seem to have any feta in it, which was bizarre to me. What was even weirder is how good it was. I've never enjoyed spinach that much.

Plus, the seating! I have never been to a more hospitable festival. There was tons of seating, both indoors and out. Everyone at Honfest this weekend will be standing on the hot pavement trying to balance their drink while they lather their pit beef with horseradish. Sometimes you need an ancient civilization to show you how things should be done. Take it from the Greeks, Baltimore: add seating to your festivals.

I won't be hitting up Honfest myself, unfortunately, because I'll be at a wedding for the rest of the weekend. All you damn love-birds are really cramping my Baltimore party style with your out of town weddings. My next one is fourth of July weekend. I mean... July 4th, really? Good thing I love wearing a tux in Texas in the middle of the summer.

Hell, if I wanted to stand in the sun and pretend to look relaxed I can do that in Baltimore. At Honfest.

My five worst food experiences

Michael Cook — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:29:06 GMT

Following up on my five worst bar experiences, here are my five worst Baltimore food experiences. I had a little trouble coming up with these. Usually a bad food experience is immediately forgotten, unless I'm actually sick afterwards. Otherwise, I save my memory space for the good experiences. Nonetheless, here is a list of the most mediocre Mobtown has to offer.

1) The chipped beef at Rub. I'll walk into the no-man's-land where Rub sits for their cream soda on draft or their corn pudding, but I wouldn't blink for their chipped beef. This is essentially manwhich style canned slop. It is what eight year olds make for themselves for dinner when their moms have to work late.

2) Chicken mole (I think) at Blue Agave. It's been awhile since I've eaten at Blue Agave, and that's because when I did eat there, it was so underwhelming. Not only did I pay a lot for the food, it wasn't flavorful. If you want mole, (or any mexican) go to Arcos, where it is both less expensive and more tasty. Interesting that the same guy owns both Rub and Blue Agave. He probably doesn't like me much.

3) Zen West. I have been to Zen West probably six or seven times and every time I leave unsatisfied. It's just so astonishingly blah. It's like they train their staff to do everything not-quite-right. They have mastered mediocrity. The staff has never been cool, the food never excellent. Just make me happy once. Even my ex girlfriends did that.

4) The now defunct bar on the corner of Thames and Broadway. When my buddy and I went there for lunch they had about half the menu available, with no real explanation why major items were listed but unable to be served. It was one of those places where "cooking" meant heating up the food so it was no longer raw, and seasoning meant bringing a bottle of ketchup to the table. No surprise it's defunct.

5) Cream of crab soup at Mo's Fisherman's Wharf. This can best be described as a violation of human rights and I have thusly notified the United Nations. Do not order this unless there is an actual firearm being held to your head.

My five worst bar experiences

Michael Cook — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:58:04 GMT

I'm pretty posi when it comes to Baltimore, usually promoting the good and ignoring the bad unless it be particularly grievous. Even when something isn't to my liking, I usually downplay its importance. For instance, I hate giant televisions in otherwise genteel bars, but some people like them. Everyone has their opinions, and when I write a review I go for descriptive, not opinionated.

But I've dealt with some crap while running around this town. My worst experiences don't involve being mugged. Luckily for me, they only involve annoying, incompetent idiots. Here are my five worst bar experiences in Baltimore, in no particular order:

1) J.A. Murphy's. As detailed here, our bartender ruined my friend's drink so absolutely it almost seemed deliberate. I could make a better Manhattan blindfolded. And I will. I'll even post my attempt on youtube, if anyone has a video recorder and wants to record me doing it.

2) The hunt for Taste International. What this club actually is and does is hard to determine, though one thing Taste International does for sure is criminally abuse the term "globe-trotting" on their Myspace page. In an effort to get a better look, I went there on assignment. Because it looked like they were only open on the weekends, I gave up a weekend night and made the trip and found...a dark building. A sign. An empty parking lot. It is now my belief that this is some kind of front.

3) The Depot. The human behind the bar here looked like a member of a band failing to live up to the low standards set by Fallout Boy. He couldn't even do unoriginal well. It was evident by his complete disregard for our presence at his bar that he'd spent more time on his hair that day than he had learning how to do his job. He could not be bothered to walk six seats down the bar and give me and my brother a drink until my brother actually yelled at him. One assumes that his friends were so engaging he simply couldn't pull himself away from their discussion of which eyeliner they all used. Hipsters make horrible bartenders. We would have left if I hadn't been there on assignment.

4) Luckies Tavern. I took two trips to Luckies, again on assignment. During the first I was forced to listen to The Amish Outlaws mangle various otherwise innocent songs. Bruce Springsteen never did anything to you. Not to mention they looked stupid. On the second trip I asked the owner why the under bar area was decorated with red x's. He didn't know. What did he do, lock his eight-year-old brother in the bar for two days with a stencil? A picture of Sinatra on the wall does not a Vegas theme make. Oh, I almost forgot: their happy hour chalk board sign outside completely lied about the prices we'd be paying in doors, unless for some reason beer brewed in Baltimore doesn't count as "domestic."

5) Rams Head Tavern. This has nothing to do with the venue. I love Rams Head Tavern. I also love John Legend, who I was seeing there when this happened. My friends and I, all three of us under 5' 7", saw an open spot in the standing-room area and slid into it. From behind us a big guy, probably 6' tall, tapped us on the shoulder and said "Did you ask me if you could stand there?"

"Uh, no, do we need to?"

"Yes."

"Ok, may we stand here?"

"No."

We tried to argue politely with the guy, all the while wondering how this was happening at a John Legend concert. Even his girlfriend tried to stop him. When your own date thinks you suck, you really suck. Eventually we just moved and luckily, Legend was good enough that we forgot about the personal-space addict for the time. But not forever. I still remember him and think he deserves to have the definition of "general admission" written on his forehead. With a branding iron.

Hanoori Town

Michael Cook — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 05:05:04 GMT

Apparently the nation of South Korea has annexed a small area of Catonsville off of Rolling Road. This consists of the massive, amazing H Mart, where one can purchase such delectables as green tea flavored ice cream, seaweed (of many types, there's half an aisle dedicated to it), and red bean candies much touted by my friends and much doubted by myself. Next to H Mart is Hanoori Town, which claims to be a Japanese food restaurant.

Really it's the entrance to a Korean complex, with a new frozen yogurt stand, what appears to be a furniture store, and the restaurant itself. At lunch the restaurant serves a $10 all-you-can-eat sushi buffet, which is why I found myself there with Doo, chef of the Metropolitan.

You think a sushi buffet might be dangerous? It is. I spent most of the time trying to get Doo to stop making disparaging comments about the people around us. "You want us to get into a fight?" I asked. "We'd probably get killed," he admitted, "they all know Tae Kwon Do." Just the kind of culturally sensitive statement that was gonna get us into a fight in the first place. Somehow being Indonesian lets him get away with that. Next Doo introduced me to the girl behind the counter by saying "This is my friend Mike. He thinks you're really hot!" Let's just say that didn't lead to one of the better conversations of my life.

Ah, but the food. The sushi half of the buffet was picked over when we got there, but the hot food was still well stocked. What little sushi there was was good (I rate it a B+). Since there wasn't much sushi, we gorged on some spicy Korean beef (What's the best Korean restaurant in Baltimore? I await your opinions. There ain't enough kimchi in my life.) dumplings, miso soup, fried rice, soba, and lots of pickled ginger. Unfortunately Hanoori didn't have the delicious sweet fried rice thingies they had out last time we were there. H Town had better get it together or I'm not gonna be back to flirt with that girl behind the counter again.

OK, yes I will.

Homemade booze at the Charles Village Festival

Michael Cook — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 20:38:15 GMT

The Charles Village Festival is such a socially conscious little get together! All sorts of save-the-world foundations had their booths set up. It made me feel distinctly warm and fuzzy while I walked past them on my way to the booze. A very nice selection of brew was available, donated from various nearby bars. Thank god somebody's looking out for me too.

There was also food of the fried and on-a-stick variety, which is really the only way to eat.

But most interesting was the stand of the Thousand Oaks Barrel Company. The concept is to make your own alcohol and buy barrels from Thousand Oaks to age your alcohol in. The charcoal charred oak barrels should mellow out what is probably terrible tasting rotgut.

I don't have a still, though, so I wasn't that excited until the guy at the stand mentioned using the barrels to improve on cheap, store bought liquor. Do I ever have some of that. In fact, I've got a bottle and a half of grain alcohol which I can't really do anything with. You don't actually drink that stuff, you just mix it with Kool-aid and lots of sugar and give it to underage girls. (That was a joke. Do not arrest me.)

Thousand Oaks also offers essences (essences of rum, whiskey, and various flavors like coconut) which can be added to neutral spirits while in the barrels. I'm not entirely sure what essence of Irish whiskey would be made of or if I'd want it in my drink, but homemade vanilla vodka? Yeah, I could go for that.

So once I get my huge, six digit paycheck for this blog I'm going to buy some barrels. Maybe if I make something delicious out of my grain alcohol I'll donate it next year to the Festival. I'm all about giving back to the community.

Giving good head (part 2)

Michael Cook — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 04:04:04 GMT

When you finish this post, you're going to know more about head than the girls down on the block.

Yeah, I went there. Welcome to part two of giving good head, the investigative journalism half of my journey into beer suds.

I called up the Pratt Street Ale House and spoke to one of the brewers, Justin Damadio, at the Oliver's brewery yesterday to ask how they liked their beer poured. He was very helpful. I get the feeling we could have talked about beer all day. Justin started off by listing the many things that can affect a beer's head. Getting a glass clean and free of the residue that dishwashers and sanitizers can leave behind is important. "Always use a room temperature glass," Justin added. "A lot of bars use a chilled glass and that will actually kill the head."

While at Pub Dog yesterday I asked my bartender Kat whether Pub Dog had rules on how their beer should be poured. First off, she agreed that if a beer was too cold, it wouldn't pour properly. She said that Pub Dog taught staff to use the mug as a guide and try to serve beer with the head from the top of the handle to the brim. This isn't far off from the half inch I thought was about right, nor far from the brewer's rule of thumb.

"You want about a thumb's worth of head on a beer," Justin said, although he went on to say that different beers need to be treated differently. Personally I've had complaints at Metropolitan about Scottish ales, which are supposed to be very lowly carbonated, almost flat. I tried to tell people that's how it was supposed to be, but who listens to their bartender? Every beer is different: a Scottish ale will never give you much head, a stout needs a slow pour, and everyone agrees that there's no point in worrying about head with fizzy Bud and Miller products.

And head has a purpose. The purpose, according to Justin, is to keep oxygen from the beer. "If you want a beer to taste the same from the first sip to the last, you want to put a good head on it. The head puts a protective layer between the beer and the oxygen. Oxygen is beer's worst enemy."

And though Clipper City never called me back, what I learned there on a brewery tour last year jives with Justin's statement. On the tour we learned that occasionally, the first sip of a bottled beer will be skunked because the small amount of oxygen in the top of the bottle can react with the beer.

So head is a good thing. But we knew that anyway.

Giving good head (part 1)

Michael Cook — Sat, 30 May 2009 14:52:57 GMT

This is a post about beer. Get your mind out of the gutter.

The amount of head one gets on a draft beer is a big issue for some. As a server it's annoying as hell. Some people believe that head is taking away from the beer they're getting, and anyone who has served enough beer has been called a cheat at least once by someone who didn't get their brew right to the brim.

Others, however, call a beer with no head a "sorority pour" and look down on it as inappropriate. Good beer is supposed to have head. In a later post I'll get into the brewer's perspective. I'll talk to some local brewers and see what their opinions are and how they'd most like to see their beer poured. In the meantime, I'll just report that I've heard of people "fixing" sorority pours by adding salt to the beer, which makes it froth up. If the purpose of head is... I mean, isn't taste a bit more... salt? Really!?

Pouring draft is a lot more difficult than it looks. The CO2 mix is out of servers' control usually, and that can drastically change the way a beer pours, as can the temperature of the keg. Just having the lines cleaned, not having them cleaned for a long time, dealing with a new CO2 tank, or pouring into a strange glass can all cause servers to have to try again and again to get that perfect pour.

And what is the perfect pour? Well, it depends on the beer, and we'll get into that in a later post too, and maybe I'll even talk about Guinness drinkers (most picky, annoying bastards on Earth), but for me, a perfect pour is a half inch of head, rising right to the brim of the glass.

The Baltimore mingle

Michael Cook — Wed, 27 May 2009 13:18:23 GMT

One of my least favorite aspects of my city (besides the crime, natch) is the pervasive social segregation. That's why some of my favorite spots in the city are those where different races mix freely.

I don't know why we don't all hang out everywhere, all the time, but I know some spots where we do. The Inner Harbor is ground zero for the Baltimore melting pot. A close second is my much loved Lexington Market. It's my opinion that the growing Hispanic influence is a great change for the city overall (not just for people like me that like tamales). I think the breaking of the black/white dichotomy encourages everyone to be a little more adventurous. Or maybe it's just the food. Whatever the reason, all kinds of city dwellers go to spots like Habanero Grill and Chicken Rico. Good food is universal

But so is mediocre food. I was on a mission to review downtown delis for Metromix when I stopped in Foodtopia. Foodtopia is on Baltimore street, between Charles and St. Pauls. It didn't make the final article because the food is basic buffet stuff and the decor isn't special and really there's nothing to distinguish it from most of the other spots in the city. Except for the clientele. Black, white, Asian, Hispanic, young, old, blue collar, white collar, ugly, pretty, you name it. Maybe it's just the location. Maybe everyone loves a wittily named restaurant as much as I do.

Whatever it is, Foodtopia's now on my list of melting pot spots. Fixing the city, one styrofoam container of buffet food at a time.

New booze on the block

Michael Cook — Mon, 25 May 2009 00:09:26 GMT

A visit to my favorite liquor store revealed a brand new gin I'd yet to taste, so with friends coming into town to celebrate the birth of your's truly, I thought what better gift to myself?

I'm a big time fan of gin, preferring Bombay Sapphire in my day-to-day drinking and Tanqueray Ten when I want to class it up. My discovery, New Amsterdam straight gin, is out of Modesto California, despite being named after New York city (Remember? NYC started out as New Amsterdam. You learned that in fifth grade).

New Amsterdam claims to be so smooth you can drink it straight. Which raises the question of what the word "straight" is doing on the bottle. When I buy a bottle of gin, whiskey, or rum I assume it to be straight. If there's a technical reason for the word, I don't know it. I tried New Amsterdam both in a gin and tonic and straight and found it quite nice. It's slightly sweet, like Bombay Sapphire, but has less juniper. It is very smooth, but it also carries less of the botanical nuances of Tanqueray. One of the joys of gin is the complex flavors and aromas. Definitely worth a shot. (Unlike Tanqueray's Rangpur lime. Yuck.)

I also noticed that Burnett's has jumped on the sweet tea vodka train, and there's another sweet tea vodka out now called Jeremiah Weed. (JW also makes a bourbon which has been around the south for a long time.) JW definitely has the marketing down. I'll report back when I get a chance to try it.

The goings on

Michael Cook — Fri, 22 May 2009 13:10:53 GMT

The news in Fed Hill is that The Hill will be open on Sunday. This is the new restaurant from Chef Tony of the Metropolitan. I got to check out the inside of the building last week. They've worked serious alchemy on what used to be Banjaras. The menu sounds good and a friend reports that the crab and blue cheese stuffed fillet, which he got to try, is going to be killer. If Tony is up and running it would be a good spot for Memorial Day dinner.

Jim at Taverna Corvino was talking up their new wine tasting to me. It's Grand Prix style, with tasters moving from one station to the next around the room to try different wines and an eventual system for ranking, with prizes for winners. Competitive wine tasting? I am there! The tastings will focus on Italian wines. Jim claims to have access to enough Italian wines to last through nine month's worth of tastings.

I also ran into an old high school classmate of mine, Pat Dahlgren, who gave me a look at his upcoming bar The Rowhouse. Located at the corner of Light and Gittings, the Rowhouse is looking nice. They've completely gutted the old building (which was once a little corner dive, I believe) and rebuilt. The menu will be comaprable to Bicycle, Pat said. For those of you who haven't been by Bicycle lately, it's gotten much more reasonable. On their current posted menu there was barely an entrée over $25, which used to be what they charged for appetizers (OK, I exaggerate, but they got cheaper). The Rowhouse will also have a bar menu, though food in general will have to wait as the full kitchen won't be running when they first open. They're shooting to open mid June. My favorite part of the bar is a lofted ceiling second floor room with black marble fire place. Should be an awesome place to throw a party.

Best potato chips ever

Michael Cook — Wed, 20 May 2009 04:26:02 GMT

I used to think Utz's crab chips were the greatest potato chips on the planet. Then I found Kettle Chips brand Spicy Thai chips.

Praise the chip making deities.

These things seriously sent me into a fit of joy not dissimilar to an epileptic seizure. These are the sexy, dangerous, super hot chips of the potato chip world. They are like your older sister's hot friend who is in AP Algebra AND dates the dude with the motorcycle AND leads the league in lacrosse goals.

Or if you're a lady, these potato chips are the drummer in the band who drinks whiskey straight AND whose day job is an environmental engineer AND whose abs you could break a 2x4 on. (Girls find all that stuff sexy, right?)

The bag says "ginger with attitude." The spicy chips actually become almost overwhelming due to the tangy tongue buzz of ginger. The chips are also slightly sweet, which is both surprising and delightful. The flavor idea for Spicy Thai came from a consumer. Kettle runs a People's Choice campaign to allow people to suggest potato chip flavors. Unfortunately I haven't heard back about my submission: Esskay hot dog flavor (with mustard).

A lot of new, adventurous chip flavors are hitting the shelves these days. (I am always a fan of jalepeño flavor chips, but consider the cheesy/oniony flavors to be both overrepresented and underwhelming.) The rest of the country must be ecstatic for this development. Here in Baltimore we're lucky enough to be close to the home of Utz, so we can rely on a steady stream of fresh deliciousness from up the highway. (If you haven't been on the Utz tour, you ought to drive up 83 one day and check it out. Snyders is up there too, and I believe they do tours as well.)

Also, both Carolina style BBQ and crab chips are available here. Friends up north report that though they can find regular Utz, one or both of these excellent varieties of chips are not available. I never thought I'd say this, but I think we can consider ourselves lucky in Baltimore. A host of great food items are available here (decent crab cakes, for one) that to the rest of the country are simply foreign. In addition, we can now get Spicy Thai flavored potato chips: because taste buds need exercise too.

How to win at Wine in the Woods

Michael Cook — Mon, 18 May 2009 12:23:44 GMT

I finally got to Wine in the Woods, Columbia's crucial wine festival for wine lovers, arborists, and anyone who wants their gentility in a faux rustic setting. Based on my experience, here are some tips to maximize your Wine in the Woods trip. Buy the tickets online and save five bucks. Get there early. This is mostly important for staking out a good spot for your chairs and blankets. Also, though, lines get long later in the day.

Now, bribe or trick a friend into watching your base camp while you explore the 28 or so wine makers. I had no idea we had so many vineyards in this area. As it turns out, Maryland produces lots of sweet wine. I've never tasted so many peach, apple and raspberry monstrosities. I could pretend like I paid enough attention to provide tasting notes, but my friends and I found that the best way to get our money's worth was to run the line at each wine maker and try everything they offered, so I tried a lot of one ounce pours. We presented our glasses like orphans begging for food and said, "We're going to try everything you've got. Where should we start?" I recommend the method.

A few of the wine maker staff looked at us questioningly, and one even said we needed to buy a bottle if we were going to stand there and try everything. Most, however, were awesome. Susan at Frederick Cellars explained everything we wanted to know, even enlightening us on the process for making ice wine, which involves freezing the grapes on the vine. Not at all how they make ice beer, in case you were wondering.

Experienced drinkers might need to buy a bottle to get the volume they need, in which case I recommend just going for it and buying four, since most of the wine makers were offering 10% discounts on purchases of four bottles.

Lastly, you may want to eat a crab pretzel. Now that I think about it, the crab pretzel is really a food item so amazing it deserves its own post. So look out for that.

And no, there's no way to avoid the hangover. Embrace it.

American craft beer week

Michael Cook — Thu, 14 May 2009 14:00:22 GMT

You are in the midst of American craft beer week, whether you knew it or not. How can you celebrate? Well, Clipper City is having their first Real Ale and BBQ fest this Saturday. For those trapped in the D.C. suburbs, Rock Bottom brewery in Bethesda is putting some new deliciousness on tap and for the Frednecks Barley and Hops microbrewery is extending their happy hours.

But there's plenty going on here in Bmore too. The Flying Dog brewers will be at my place of employ, Metropolitan, tonight (Thursday) and the list of reps, brewers and beers moving through Max's this week and weekend is too long to even attempt listing. By the way, according to the Brewer's Association, Flying Dog is ranked 30th in the top 50 craft brewing companies in the country (by beer sales volume), which is the highest ranking of a Maryland brewery. Not sure how they compute their list. Does this mean Fredrick's Flying Dog is shipping more beer than Fordham or Clipper City? Wild.

I hit up Max's yesterday with the old man and sampled some of America's tasty craft beers. For three dollars a piece you can get five-ounce tasting glasses of any of what Max's has on tap. Two of my favs and one to avoid were:

Oliver's oak aged 3 Lions (7.5 ABV) - a dark red-brown beer with a white head, this beer packed a ton of smoky, nut-brown flavor, with a nice oaky nose. It could have been a little cooler, though. I know cask beers like this are supposed to be served cellar temperature, but 3 Lions came out positively warm. No matter, it tasted great.

Cape Ann Bavarian Wheat (5.4 ABV) - I hadn't heard of the Cape Ann brewery before, but hope to see this one, in particular, on tap around town this summer. It was very light and easy drinking, with a silky feel to it. Unlike some American wheats, this is not too sweet. A perfect summer session beer.

Magic Hat Bob's First Ale (4.5 ABV) - OK, I didn't actually like this one, but that's worth mentioning, since I like just about anything in the beer category. It had an apricot color but a nose that reminded me of rye bread. It poured with no head (this one was also on cask) and had an odd taste to it I think I'd describe as "stale." Good thing Max's has so many other options.

Enjoy the beer, and I'll have something for all you winos after I explore Wine in the Woods this weekend.

Brewer's Art spring beer tasting notes

Michael Cook — Wed, 13 May 2009 20:47:48 GMT

Because I love my mother and am a good son, I took her to "the best bar in America" for Mother's Day dinner, and if my dad and I spent a decent portion of the time tasting Brewer's Art's seasonal brews I don't think we should be judged too harshly for that, right? It's American Craft Brewing week, and there are an ungodly amount of great beers in town, some of which I plan to track down later in the week. For starters, though, here are some tasting notes on the latest seasonals from Brewer's:

The Tiny Tim (6.5% ABV)
Described as being brewed with hibiscus flowers, buckwheat honey and rosemary, Tiny Tim sounds more like a garden than a beer. It is light copper in color and has a nice caramel nose to it that I find common in Brewer's beers. The taste definitely has some honey in it, a touch of rosemary, and is over all nicely herbally, like spring with a storm on the way.

Dorothea (4.8 ABV)
A spring ale brewed for Trout Unlimited, proceeds go to preserving watersheds (so drink a lot of it). Despite being described as a spring ale, I thought the Dorothea had a lot of roast grain flavor to it and an almost chocolaty hint, which made it seem more like a nut brown ale to me. Not that there's anything wrong with that, nut browns being one of my favorite types of brews.

Sublimation (6% ABV)
Brewer's describes this one as a blond abbey ale with an herbal bitterness. Sublimation is a rich golden in color, more a dirty blond than a blond, really. (Blond, by the way, is one of the least precise terms in brewing. While other terms have very specific chemical meanings, blond usually just means the beer is vaguely gold colored.) Sublimation had a hard to describe taste that reminded me of wheat beers. The herbal bitterness was present mostly in the aftertaste or finish. "Aftertaste" and "finish," as far as I can tell, pretty much mean the same thing. The wine snobs prefer "finish," maybe because it helps them justify dropping a whole paycheck for a bottle of booze.

In search of the real Italian deli

Michael Cook — Fri, 08 May 2009 13:57:58 GMT

When I was a kid my mother went to Mastellone's for her Italian foods and, having learned to cook from her FOB grandmother and full-blooded mother, she should know. All Italian delis have since had to stand up to the Mastellone's standard for me.

My mom now goes to the much closer Ceriello, her defection justified when the Mastellones retired and sold and my mom found that some of the teenage boys that had served her there were now the men that ran Ceriello. Ceriello lives up to the standard, with a wide variety of sauces, oils, pastas, cheeses and meats. An Italian deli should also be well stocked in olives and various marinated vegetables, many of which I wouldn't know what to do with, but require in my Italian delis anyway.

In my neck of the woods is Trattoria Annamaria, not quite as well stocked but thank God it's there. Fells, Canton and such have to trek to Little Italy for Isabella's or Il Scalino. A bit of a hike for some, but well worth it. Isabella's doesn't sell wine, which I consider imperative in a full Italian deli, but they make up for it with kick ass pizza.

Which leaves Trinacria. Trinacria is a drive-to unless you happen to be at Lexington Market, as its locale in the no-man's-land just North of Lexington on Paca isn't within walking distance of much of anything. And the outside is none too inviting. When I walked in, though, I knew I'd found a contender for Baltimore's best Italian deli. The line at the register was one indication, but the first thing I noticed was the smell. The aromatic blend of salty olives, sharp cheeses and smoked meats reminded me of Mastellone's and my days tagging along with Mom. Like any good Italian deli, Trinacria sells wine, fresh baked bread (good stuff, too. A bit chewy but delicious), sauces, pastas, oils, and all those marinated veggies and other Italian delicacies I never actually purchase. According to the guys flapping their lips at the register, Trinacria staff was adding up bills on paper bags until they got a register just two years ago. That's not surprising. Trinacria has been around since 1908, and I suspect that little has changed since then. Which is another thing a good Italian deli should have: history.

The automatic gratuity question

Michael Cook — Fri, 08 May 2009 12:45:29 GMT

First on the docket today: a band's personality can make a big difference in how we listen to its music. A WTMD jockey once confessed to me how much less he liked Julian Velard after having dinner with him. So, though I liked Soul Cannon going into last night, I didn't know if I'd like them still coming out. You'll read the full piece soon, but suffice to say that the guys of Soul Cannon are fun, cool, and smart enough that I am even more a fan of their music now.

I also learned about Cyclops, the soon to open bookstore from Andy Rubin, the owner of the now defunct Baltimore Chop. Despite Chop's great reputation I never made it there, perhaps because I was a little foggy on where it was. Cyclops is right on North in the heart of the growing Station North Arts District, so I'll be sure to visit this one. Should be open in a week or two, is the word on the street.

Now, on to the topic du jour: while out with the band we grabbed a few drinks at the Charles Village Pub and I noticed that the waitress hit our bill with an automatic gratuity.

Auto grat-ing a check is standard procedure at some restaurants for parties of six or more, but at many it's at the server's discretion and somewhat questionable. Let's not even get into the fact that "automatic" and "gratuity" are by definition somewhat mutually exclusive. Somebody back in the day passed a law saying that restaurants can pay their staff $2 an hour, and now we're stuck with this dumb system. Anyway, the justification for the restaurant-added gratuity is that large parties take lots of time from a waiter, which means he or she cannot take as many other tables. In addition, tips on large bills tend to be lower, percentage-wise, sometimes because of splitting difficulties (people suck at math), sometimes because of sticker shock. It's hard for some people to realize that a decent tip on a large bill might be over $30.

But the auto-grat gets pretty sketchy when applied without notice, or when the situation doesn't seem to warrant it. Though there were six of us at the CVP, we only had one round of drinks. The total bill was only $18 before tax. I've never had, nor, as a server, considered, an auto-grat when the parties were just drinking. CVP's auto-grat was also a full 20%. I think 18% is a more reasonable percentage. The restaurant is already being presumptuous by adding the gratuity, I prefer them not to presume they gave great service.

We didn't complain about the auto-grat, but as often happens in this case, we didn't leave any extra money either. One thing the auto-grat almost always does is kill generosity.

Kinetic Sculpture Race

Michael Cook — Sat, 02 May 2009 22:09:21 GMT

My anti-rain dance worked, allowing me to spend the afternoon this Saturday in Patterson park checking out the kinetic sculpture race. It was a bizarre other world out there today. Who knew Baltimore had so many weird white people in it? And bikes! They were everywhere! I'm not just talking about the bikes that were competing. A flock of bikers seemed to accompany every float (is that what they call those contraptions?), and a good number of spectators seemed to be on two wheels as well. Made me proud of my city for being all green and such.

The floats were pretty damn impressive too, some of them showing some serious construction and welding skills. You know, the city of Baltimore might could use some of those skills (like in the water main department, say?). Over all, definitely one of my new favorite Baltimore events.

Also in the park today was the BK B-ball Battle, a three on three basketball tournament. The gym was loud as hell when I went in and I saw a guy spitting blood into the sink in the bathroom, so competition must have been stiff. No wonder, though. Winner of the Baltimore round would take home $1000 and an all-expense paid trip to Miami to compete for the grand prize of $20,000. Makes me wish I had some kind of game.

One things for sure, nobody mistook the ballers for the racers.

As the weather begins to turn the dinner rush in the restaurant biz is getting later and later. For some reason people can't imagine eating dinner while it's still light out. I'm sure that in some cases it's purposeful, like when folks take that extra long walk in the park with the dog, but I suspect the shift is mostly subconscious. Have you been starting your own nights later and later? Have you even noticed?

Beer at the ballpark

Michael Cook — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 12:08:58 GMT

The O's may not be one of the finest teams in baseball, but most of the country agrees we have one of the finest stadiums. Luckily for those who like to toss back a beer while watching a game, Camden Yards also sports one of the country's strongest beer lists. (Admittedly, I haven't drank in all that many other stadiums, and ballparks across the country are starting to raise the bar.)

I wandered the concourses of Camden for awhile. Here's what I found. Drafts at Camden includes Heineken, Fordham Copperhead ale, Clipper City Gold, Old Scratch amber ale, Dos XX, Smithwicks, Harp, Guinness, Wild Goose pale ale, Stella Artois, Hoegaarden, Bass, Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat, Coors light, Miller lite, and Bud and Bud light. Drafts are either $6.75 or $7. There's some discrepancy in the signs between different levels and different stands. There were also a few beers advertised that weren't available (like Flying Dog pale ale). I suspect some of the signs are from last year, unless there are intentional price differences between levels.

Though you should obviously buy draft, since the 16 oz domestic bottles cost the same, you could go for the 16 oz bottles (Bud light, Bud, Miller lite, Coors light) or even the regular 12 oz bottles (Mike's Hard cranberry or lemonade, Heineken, Amstel light, Red Stripe, Heineken light, Corona and Corona light), listed at $6.50. Bizarrely, Mich Ultra was listed at $6.75.

My only complaint about the beer selection is that the kiosks with the drafts are only in one or two areas of the park. It can be a walk of six sections or more sometimes. Some of the beers, like Clipper City Gold, were available at most of the kiosks I saw, others, like Hoegaarden, seemed only available at a single stall. This is weird and somewhat annoying if you're picky about your beer, but at least you won't have to go into a restaurant to get it.

Lots of parks now have restaurants with impressive menus and beer lists, but how many serve good beer in the concourses? I've been browsing online and talking to friends in other cities. Coors field in Colorado carries the standard domestics, though their Sandlot restaurant is an actual brewpub itself. The other two beer-named parks, Busch Park in St. Louis and Miller Park in Milwaukee, seem to have pretty standard lists, although for some reason stadiums don't list their beers in any easy to find place online. The National's park has a strong list, according to BeerinBaltimore.com. Although I like their effort, I wonder if anyone really wants a triple abbey ale while sitting in the upper deck?

Anyway, if you're at Camden and need a brew but don't know where to find one, I suggest heading toward home plate. Around Section 340 or so there seems to be one of the larger concentrations of beer kiosks in the stadium. Of course if you paid for the good seats downstairs, you'll also find that beer is slightly closer at hand. Congratulations, moneybags.

See you at the park.

Swing and a miss...

Michael Cook — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 16:17:50 GMT

Weekends like this I feel I miss more than I hit. I had planned to go to Citypaper's brewfest today, but I guess when they say that the event sells out, they mean it sells out. I'm also missing some great O's games, the Hunt cup, Hopkins' Spring Fair, the Fed Hill block party or whatever they're calling it, and that Station North music festival thingy. Seriously I think everyone is throwing a festival today. I'll also miss my high school reunion (I felt bad about that until they announced it was going to be stag and held at one of my least favorite bars in the city.) The best thing about my life right now is that it's not all-male, so I'd rather not regress, thanks.

But I finally made it to a motorcycle ride with the Swarm. The Unholy Swarm are some great guys (and girls), totally chill and really nice despite the many tattoos and the stories of bar fights we traded while meeting up out in the the county. Definitely got some looks from the Hunt Club folks in their polos and chinos, but it ain't our fault if they're jealous. Might as well stop and plug the second Summer Swarm, a combination motorcycle ride (which starts at noon) and music festival. Events are at the Ottobar, and go from 2 p.m. till 2 a.m. Tickets at Missiontix.com. It's not till May 30, so you've got plenty of time to buy a hog and get a couple tats.

Another event I won't miss is Microcosm tomorrow, a self publishing tour/workshop held at Atomic Books. Come learn how to publish your own manifesto/great American novel/nudie mag. Well, the interweb tells me I might still be able to catch Soul Cannon at that Station North dealy, and then there's some kind of Goucher reunion (not that I went there, but I know people), and what's this? My roommate offering me a ticket to the O's game? Guess I better stop talking about what I'm missing and go enjoy Baltimore, huh?

Delivery Sushi

Michael Cook — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:19:59 GMT

What could be better than eating sushi? Eating it in your underwear.

My fellow Metromixer Lindsay (aka NG) introduced me to the wonders of delivery sushi a couple nights ago. I know she's been telling me I could get sushi delivered for months, but I didn't listen. I mean, who'd have thought? But it's true. Wok and Roll (I know, the name is precious!) in Federal Hill delivers through the Fed Hill area. But what if you're not in Federal Hill? I've been hitting the electronic pavement of the information super highway all day to try and find spots across Baltimore that can bring you a spider roll when you just can't get up the energy to tie your shoes and leave the house.

It turns out, Baltimore suffers from a real lack of delivery sushi. It's not as bad as the lack of rotating rooftop restaurants, but it's pretty bad. You'd think sushi would be easy to deliver, since it's small and usually served cold. Nonetheless, I could only find one other restaurant in the city limits that boasted sushi delivery. XS in Mt. Vernon. This is good news, because their sushi is pretty tasty. Too bad they don't deliver down the Hill.

I have no doubt I could have found some cheap Chinese food joints that also have sushi, but I have too much respect for fish to eat bad sushi. In truth, though Wok and Roll's sushi really hit the spot, it wasn't as good as Matsuri, Minato, or Asahi, which are probably my top three of Baltimore sushi spots. A couple spots in the county showed up in my search, but I'm a city boy and can't guide anyone through the suburban sushi world, so I leave you poor county folk on your own.

Good luck, and if anyone else knows of a good delivery sushi place, spread the wealth.