(Credit: Mark Gross)
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Anyway, the group walked passed the bar and up the stairs into the dining room. They sat at a table just behind him. He didn't even know how close he was.
I had a few bites of a fantastic $5 burger, but I wasn't really all that hungry. I packed most of it into styrofoam, and we continued working on the pitcher of Bass that only cost $7.50, which, in case you don't realize, is friggin' cheap.
The cigarette machine, an old mechanical box with pinball knobs, was copping a 'tude, so I swapped the roommate five ones for a five. On the way back to the dining room, he passed the redhead on the stairway. I'm sure in his drunken haze he thought he threw one of those "as cool as James Dean" winks, though he probably looked more like a present day Michael J. Fox. Something must have happened, though, because we weren't halfway finished our first cigarette when the redhead came over to our table to bum one.
After my roommate lit the redhead's cigarette, she told him that he looked like a Republican. Maybe it was the tie. She stood there long enough to be harassed about being "very Hampden" and for being from MICA, though she vehemently denied our claims and assured us through several facial piercings that she wasn't part of that "new Hampden artsy crowd." She said she and her crew had just rolled in from the Ottobar -- Cat Power or something like that.
Then, the two of them started bitchin' about the music selection (and just to make a point, I do believe we heard Britney sing "Toxic" two times). She offered up a dollar bill and the two of them ran off to the jukebox.
The redhead and my roommate came back to the table long enough to light another cigarette. Then they moved some chairs around and bumped some tables out of the way to turn the dining room into a half-assed dance floor. I don't know if this is how Dizzy's typically "rolls," but no one seemed to mind.
Eventually, as it always happens, the little redheaded girl had to leave Charlie Brown. She collected her friends and was out the door. What a nice evening, I thought. The roommate and the redhead dancing the night away, making real friendly, right? But, do you think he got her digits? Hell, no. She needs to send me an e-mail or something. Things are getting dire at our place, and I don't know if I can take another machete assault. Help me, little redheaded girl; you're my only hope. Are you out there?
Dish: My roommate was on a liquid diet, so we shared a pitcher of Bass. I also ordered the Black and Bleu burger. That comes with chips and a pickle. The burger was really good -- smelly bleu cheese, bacon, real beef. Just like heaven. But I wasn't hungry. It's tough being a journalist, really. Later, the burger reheated in the microwave was as tasty as I remembered. Some advice, though, don't take the chips home unless you plan on using the soggy lard-based disks to mend holes in your drywall. And before you nuke the burger, take of the produce, man. Hot lettuce is gross.
Damage: The burger was $4.95. The pitcher was $7.50. That's a total of $12.45. My half of the bill -- the burger and half the pitcher -- comes to $8.70. Cheap!
Decision: I don't believe it's possible to find an inexpensive burger this good anywhere else, not to mention the cheap-ass beer. Dizzy's is a neighborhood dive bar that manages to court a crowd from outside its Remington locale. I saw old people and young people, people in suits and others in dirty T-shirts, as well as gay couples and straight ones. The only thing I don't like about Dizzy's is that it's not on the corner of my street.
Editor's note: Since this was first posted, the little redheaded girl has contacted me. Unfortunately, she seemed a little too busy to hang out with a machete-wielding Republican look-alike. Besides, said roommate has since packed his things and moved up the coast, and is now running amuck somewhere in a suburb of Boston.
