Burger smackdown

Contender: Cheeburger Cheeburger

Meat: Angus
Condiments: Lettuce, tomato, onion, ketchup, mayo
Bun: Kaiser roll

Damage: $4.99

Side notes: The faux '50s "Jetsons" design and "American Graffiti" soundtrack lend an interesting Cold War nostalgia to the dining experience. Nothing gives a cheeseburger that je ne sais quoi like Sam the Sham singing "Wooly Bully."

Decision: This is definitely a superior fast food cheeseburger. There's one thing holding it back--the absurd fear many restaurants have of serving under-cooked meat. You request medium rare and they politely inform you that, no, unfortunately they can't do that. The best they can do is medium. The problem is that medium without the rare is really well done. Our species has survived thousands of years huddling around fires and eating chunks of squirrelly meat off the tips of dirty sticks, and suddenly one slightly pink burger is going to launch a "Hot Zone"-sized epidemic that will knock civilization to its knees? One word: amoxicillin.