Burger smackdown

Contender: Alonso's

Meat: 80/20 blend ground beef
Condiments: Lettuce, tomato, onion, ketchup, mayo
Bun: Kaiser roll

Damage: $12.95

Side notes: It was a steamy 100 degrees the day we visited Alonso's and unfortunately it wasn't a whole lot cooler inside. Luckily, the quality of the food made up for our discomfort.

Decision: Someone contact "Outside" magazine, this beef monolith rivals Yosemite's El Capitan for sheer vertical height. Eating this cheeseburger isn't a meal--it's an expedition. We didn't know whether to bite it or base-jump from it. It was cooked a perfect medium rare (as ordered), and, guess what? We survived! The price is almost as steep as the burger, but it comes with a side of fries and is practically enough to feed two people. This isn't fast food, it's a proper heavy weight meal that's so worth the price.