Compiling a list of the year’s worst movies isn’t as fun as it may seem. Watching and writing about these stinkers once is bad enough, but re-visiting them only adds to the pain.
Number one was an easy choice (I only gave one movie zero stars all year) but the rest of the list is in alphabetical order. I hated some a tiny bit more than others, but when you’re dealing with movies this bad the order is relative.
One important caveat: although I had the misfortunate of seeing enough bad movies to make a bottom 10, I happily avoided as many obvious crapfests as possible (here’s looking at you “Norbit”).
Geoff's bottom 10 movies of 2007
A flying dog, Internet daters and the death of Steve Carell’s dignity all make the cut
By Geoff Berkshire, Metromix
December 14, 20071. "Look"
“Look” stands out from the rest of this year’s worst because it’s not only stupid, insulting and badly executed, it’s morally repugnant too. Writer-director Adam Rifkin’s juvenile collection of tawdry events captured via surveillance cameras traffics in casual misogyny (nearly every actress on screen winds up naked, dead or otherwise victimized—and none emerge with their dignity intact), terrorist paranoia and shock tactics for dummies (just when you think things can’t get any more embarrassing for everyone involved, a pedophile pops up). But I’ll give Rifkin credit for this much: making “Crash” seem like a pinnacle of cinematic subtlety and sophistication is no small feat.
"The Comebacks"
You might assume that any idiot who’s ever seen a sports movie could cobble together enough genre clichés to lampoon in a spoof. And then you’d see this pathetic excuse for a parody and realize how dreadfully mistaken you were.
"Evan Almighty"
Even after all the bad buzz, the gossip over an out-of-control budget and the less than stellar history of director Tom Shadyac (“Patch Adams”), I still wanted to believe that a movie starring Steve Carell, Morgan Freeman, Lauren Graham, Wanda Sykes, John Goodman, John Michael Higgins, Jonah Hill and Molly Shannon couldn’t possibly be a complete waste of time. I was wrong.
"Fierce People"
It took over three years after production wrapped for “Fierce People” to hit theaters, usually not a very good sign. At first it simply seems like a waste of capable actors like Diane Lane and Donald Sutherland. Then, about an hour in, a jaw-droppingly inane twist transforms the movie from boring bad to epically bad. You’ll need a long hot shower to erase the lingering stench from this one.
"Happily N'Ever After"
Telling kids this flavorless slice of bargain basement animation qualifies as entertainment probably violates standards of Child Protective Services. “Happily N’Ever After” aims for the kind of irreverent spin on fairy tales captured in “Enchanted” and the “Shrek” franchise. It achieves nothing.
"The Hitcher"
Suffering through this shoddily executed remake last January made me want to swear off horror movies for the rest of the year. Considering the craptastic reputation of most of this year’s efforts (“Captivity,” “Hostel Part II,” “I Know Who Killed Me,” “Saw IV”—all unseen by me), I probably got off easy.
"Moving McAllister"
One of those unfortunate passion projects where a single misguided soul is responsible for writing, producing and starring in an absolute mess. Ben Gourley may be an incredibly nice guy. Maybe he’ll even be involved in a good movie one day. Maybe.
"Perfect Stranger"
No, Halle Berry and Bruce Willis don’t have chemistry on screen. But that’s the least of this laughable Internet dating thriller’s problems. Berry swore she learned her lesson about making bad movies after the disastrous “Catwoman.” Apparently it didn’t stick.
"Skinwalkers"
This noticeably neutered werewolf flick sat on the shelf for two years before a blink-and-you-missed-it summer release. But that’s not enough to explain why it had all the flair of a cable TV staple from 1988.
"Underdog"
What could be worse than a cynical attempt at turning a semi-beloved cartoon into a live action feature complete with second-rate effects, inane dialogue (co-written by “Look” fauxteur Adam Rifkin), awkward voiceover by a truly slumming Jason Lee and a running time that barely qualifies as feature length? Forget I asked. I really don’t want to know.
Dishonorable mentions: “Alpha Dog,” “The Brothers Solomon,” “Bug,” “Fat Girls,” “Revolver.”
Geoff's top 10
See what Metromix movie critic Geoff Berkshire selected as the best of 2007.
Matt's top 10
See what Metromix movie critic Matt Pais selected as the best of 2007.
Matt's bottom 10
See what Metromix movie critic Matt Pais selected as the worst of 2007.
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