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What Happens in Vegas

Just like Vegas, except bland, boring and not fun at all

By Matt Pais

Metromix
May 8, 2008

Critic's Rating:

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Joy (Cameron Diaz), a marriage-hungry woman on the rebound, and Jack (Ashton Kutcher), an unemployed, commitment-phobic slacker, get plastered, get married and win $3 million in Sin City. The legal system says they've gotta stick it out as cohabiting man and wife for six months if they want to claim the money, but instead of making the best of things the pair bickers constantly and schemes to force the other into forfeiting the marriage and his or her share of the dough.

Big question: Are there rom-com riches to be found in this big-drunken-mistake version of "The Break-Up"?

Skip it: Though a notch above "Made of Honor" on the tolerability scale, "Vegas" takes a shot at love with all the romantic know-how of Tila Tequila. This means Kutcher's batting about 0-for-12 on the big screen, unless you're tickled by misguided humor about spousal abuse and yet another joke about putting the toilet seat down.

Catch it: If you also bought your wedding ring in a Las Vegas vending machine and are damn proud of it. Good call on saving your money for the breakfast buffet.

Bottom line: The comic timing and chemistry from Diaz and Kutcher isn't enough to rev up this lemon, which rattles badly during a downshift into sentimentality that wouldn't sound articulate on "The Hills." The only couple that's genuinely excited about this movie is in Vegas right now, drunkenly thrilled that their great love story is at last being shared with the world.

Bonus: Enjoy the, er, bluntness of Joy's best pal's (Lake Bell) statement to Jack's best bud (Rob Corddry, who earns a couple laughs): "If I could make someone dead with my mind, it would be you." Some people have such a way with words.

Video: Watch the review of 'What Happens in Vegas'

What do you think of 'What Happens in Vegas'? Email me: mpais@tribune.com