My five worst food experiences

Following up on my five worst bar experiences, here are my five worst Baltimore food experiences. I had a little trouble coming up with these. Usually a bad food experience is immediately forgotten, unless I'm actually sick afterwards. Otherwise, I save my memory space for the good experiences. Nonetheless, here is a list of the most mediocre Mobtown has to offer.

1) The chipped beef at Rub. I'll walk into the no-man's-land where Rub sits for their cream soda on draft or their corn pudding, but I wouldn't blink for their chipped beef. This is essentially manwhich style canned slop. It is what eight year olds make for themselves for dinner when their moms have to work late.

2) Chicken mole (I think) at Blue Agave. It's been awhile since I've eaten at Blue Agave, and that's because when I did eat there, it was so underwhelming. Not only did I pay a lot for the food, it wasn't flavorful. If you want mole, (or any mexican) go to Arcos, where it is both less expensive and more tasty. Interesting that the same guy owns both Rub and Blue Agave. He probably doesn't like me much.

3) Zen West. I have been to Zen West probably six or seven times and every time I leave unsatisfied. It's just so astonishingly blah. It's like they train their staff to do everything not-quite-right. They have mastered mediocrity. The staff has never been cool, the food never excellent. Just make me happy once. Even my ex girlfriends did that.

4) The now defunct bar on the corner of Thames and Broadway. When my buddy and I went there for lunch they had about half the menu available, with no real explanation why major items were listed but unable to be served. It was one of those places where "cooking" meant heating up the food so it was no longer raw, and seasoning meant bringing a bottle of ketchup to the table. No surprise it's defunct.

5) Cream of crab soup at Mo's Fisherman's Wharf. This can best be described as a violation of human rights and I have thusly notified the United Nations. Do not order this unless there is an actual firearm being held to your head.