A Segscellent adventure

One daring reporter embarks on the journey of a lunch break

By Dan Piepenbring

Special to Metromix
June 19, 2008

 

Throughout history, mankind's lust for locomotion has propelled many an extravagant invention. In His Infinite Wisdom, God gave man two legs and unprecedented bipedalism, allowing man to literally rise above his quadrupedal ancestors. But then man said to the Lord, "eh, shove it, Pops," and sated his inner-speed demon. He tamed and rode horses; he designed wheels and popped mad wheelies; he egregiously underpaid some folks to build railroads. Then, in 1919, he wrought the Pogo Stick, which has since reigned as the undisputed King of Transportation.

Until now.

The future of travel is here, friends, and its name is Segway. Did you know that these two-wheeled, counterbalanced godsends have arrived in Charm City, thanks to a futuristic company known as Segs in the City? Did you know that for $45, you can experience the future today? And did you know that Metromix had the cojones to pay me to ride one of these things around, despite my well-known ties to the Official Society of Pogo Stick Enthusiasts?

These facts, and others equally useless, await you just beyond the precipice of the present. Join me for the journey of a lifetime, or at least the journey of a lunch break, as I infiltrate this forward-thinking cabal. Call it a segsual rite of passage. They made me wear a helmet, but you, dear reader, can go without.

Ride on.

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