Home > Baltimore Bars & Clubs > Bar Review > Inside: Crazy Lil's

An ideal pre–game spot, Crazy Lil’s' chill atmosphere provides well–made drinks in the company of friendly bartenders and early evening drinkers. The problem with the jump–off is that as party–goers swarm late in the night, you might feel rushed to leave. Even if you survive the onslaught, your valiant efforts might have been in vain, since Lil's freakishly early last call happens before 1 a.m.
 
Drinks: When it’s time to kick off that all liquid diet, Lil’s bartender Ryan Douglas concocts drinks for regulars and first–timers based on their mood and favorite flavors. More surprising than his willingness to cater to patrons is that he memorizes drink orders, too. After two weeknight visits, he’ll know your usual.

If you shy away from bartender banter, order a non–personalized drink. Crazy Lil’s—home of the $3 car bomb—offers $5 Grand Marnier shots, $2 domestic bottles and $1 Natty cans throughout the week, depending upon happy hour special.

Decor: Glassy–eyed celebrities peer (and occasionally leer) at Lil’s bar–goers. Mug shots of stars hang on Lil’s' dark blue walls, redeeming the bar from the frathouse feel of its abundant framed movie posters. Elvis, Keanu, Charles Barkley, George Clinton and Pee Wee Herman are a few of the famous faces popped by the po po and posted on Lil’s walls.
 
Crowd: The group—an even mix of girls and guys in their mid– to late–20s—consists of bartenders’ friends, kickball players and local ladies, some coiffed for other Federal Hill haunts and some resigned to a more au naturale look. They occupy most of the stools downstairs on slow nights, and move to the stools upstairs on busy nights. Weekenders are of the typical Fed Hill variety—a raucous blend of young locals, yuppies and college students.

Insider tips: When you’re in the know at Lil’s, you don’t break the seal on a crowded night. Unless, of course, you prefer standing in line at one of the two unisex bathrooms to getting your drink on. Also, get to Lil’s early. (Remember its ungodly closing hour?) Oh, and order the wings. Lil's are arguably Federal Hill’s best.

Bottom line: If you enjoy more than seven centimeters of personal space, don’t go to Crazy Lil’s on a Friday or Saturday night. Walking through the packed bar is as tricky as getting your house key in the door lock after a day–long bender. Instead, visit Lil’s before the weekend's boisterous 11 p.m.–to–1 a.m. crowd arrives, or hit the nearly perfect pre–gaming spot on a weeknight. Most importantly, always know where you'll go at 1 a.m. Nothing ruins a perfectly good night of binge drinking than going home without those last few shots. You know, the ones you probably didn't need anyway.

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