July 6 is the real Independence Day

Sunday liquor sales are finally here. What the heck took so long?

By Richard English

Great things are afoot in Colorado. One of our more out-dated and obnoxious blue laws is about to be shown the door. A bill authored by senator Jennifer Veiga successfully made its way through the state legislature making it legal for liquor stores to open on Sundays. Say amen and buy a round for the house.

Taken together, blue laws (so called because the originals, in a stark demonstration of the political imagination, were printed on blue paper) make up a decidedly ham-fisted species of regulation. Peculiar, for the most part, to the United States and Canada, the laws were written for the sole purpose of codifying moral virtue. Their origins can be traced back to 1827 when the London Missionary Society legally imposed their ethical precepts upon the people of the Cook Islands. But they really hit their stride in 1919 with the passage of the most famous (and reviled) blue law of them all: the Volstead Act, a.k.a. Prohibition. And even though the Act was repealed in the early 1930s, it continued to exert a creeping, weedy sort of influence across the country in the form of what are sometimes called “Sunday Laws.”

Designed to firmly reestablish the Sabbath as a time devoted solely to Christian religious observance, the laws curtailed almost all forms of commerce. For example, laws in 11 states (including Colorado) make it illegal for auto dealerships to open on Sundays. Texas prohibited the sale of housewares and appliances on Sundays until 1985, and it is illegal in Connecticut and Massachusetts for retail stores to do business on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day. And in many states (including, again, Colorado), alcohol can not be sold on Sundays. Some of these statutes actually carry penalties for engaging in “worldly employment” on the Sabbath. The passage of time has rendered said punishments less draconian, but back in the day numerous people were arrested, fined and even jailed for such revolting offenses as playing dominos, changing the oil in their cars, and hanging up the wash. But now, finally, Colorado’s politicos have donned their wrasslin’ tights and laid a chair-shot upside the Sunday booze ban.

Not everyone is twitterpated by the turn of events, however.

Senator Veiga first introduced her bill in 2005 and it promptly plowed into a wall. Liquor-store owners denounced the proposal (see below), and Senator Veiga found few supporters among her colleagues. She stuck with it, though, and reintroduced the bill in 2007, and might have encountered the same barrier were it not for the appearance of a second blue-law-related bill, this one aimed at allowing grocery stores to sell beer, wine and spirits. Overnight, all those small-store owners who had opposed the plan in ‘05 switched camps and threw their support behind Veiga’s bill. They didn’t have much of a choice, actually, because whatever hardship that might result from Veiga’s plan would be nothing compared to the devastation they would face if every King Soopers and Safeway suddenly sprouted a liquor department. If grocery stores are allowed to sell real booze, the liquor-store trade is utterly doomed.

Even as the repeal is about to go into effect, some liquor-store owners continue to profess lingering doubts. They worry that the additional day of operation will cost them more in labor and overhead than they will see in added profits. They are also concerned about having to work on Sundays, traditionally the one day of the week they are guaranteed to have off. Ultimately, their apprehensions amount to a tempest in a teacup. Studies suggest that the repeal could mean upwards of $32 million a year in increased retail revenue, and $2.6 million a year in tax dollars. That’s a mighty big pie and everyone will get a slice. And, as for the fact that a few small-business owners might lose a day off, well, not to be unsympathetic, but the law says you can open on Sunday, not that you must. If that day off is so imperative, don’t open your store.

Law enforcement agencies and certain civic groups are also in full-fret mode, claiming that the law will result in an epidemic of DUIs, increased instances of underage drinking, and an overall softening of the state’s moral character. Yes, a spate of DUIs is a possibility, but seeing as drunk driving is on the decline nationwide any escalation will surely be but a temporary bump. Along the same lines, the potential for kiddies to get their sticky little digits on booze is a non-starter. Colorado has some of the country’s most stringent and successful regulations regarding the sale of alcohol to minors, and it’s hard to believe that opening liquor stores on Sundays will effect a wholesale collapse in that system. Store owners who wish to keep their liquor licenses and avoid staggering fines will continue to act with diligence, as, let’s be honest, must the parents of teenagers. And as far as the morality of our fair state is concerned, taking a drink is neither moral or immoral. Same with purchasing drinks. To suggest an intrinsic link between alcohol and depravity is unfounded, reactionary and just flat silly.

For most Coloradans, July 6th will be a banner day, a day that dumb law will be demoted to anecdote status. And now that this one has been successfully put in its place, maybe we can go after a few others that are cluttering up our law books. Like the fact that it’s illegal to fire catapults at buildings. It’s also against the law to let your llama graze on city property. And, no matter how much you like them, it’s illegal to loan your vacuum cleaner to your neighbor.

Lord… Buying a twelve-pack on Sunday never looked so good.

Richard English, Metromix's resident gin-dog, is the author of the forthcoming book Cheers: A Tipsy Stroll Through the History of Humans and Hooch. Join him on his weekly quest to uncover Denver's greatest dive bars, and enjoy a dollop of bar-stool wisdom for the same low price. The truth isn't deep. It's right there at the bottom of the glass. Feel free to offer comments and hate-mail to dionysos1966@live.com.